In My Ear
24″Keeping your ears open to everything — to the spectators’ transistor radios as much as to the information coming from the directeur-sportifs…” Eros Polti, Pro Cyclist
There’s nothing better for winning performances than the force of experienced race direction on the radio combined with a rider’s sensory awareness and perception from within the peloton. That radio in the ear is a second opinion and a source of information and motivation. Even when the information isn’t quite correct, it can be helpful in providing another spirited voice to meet the demands of a race. Someone believes in me and I can hear them!
Communication with your special someone is a lot like this. It is another viewpoint, based on correct information or not, on realities that you both are experiencing. The point isn’t to be right; the point is to hear the other’s perspective. Listening is a lost skill in a world of visual technology. We have to relearn oral tradition to be good at it. You have to listen to understand, as well as see or perceive. Countless times in race reports, what a rider saw was very different from the true result. We can only see within our range of sight; we need each other to see more.
There are some valuable communication tools which can assist you toward a more intimate, caring, and peaceful relationship. These methods can be used outside of romance also. My favorite is a 25“Daily Temperature Reading” which covers five conversational areas sandwiching hopes, praise and previously undisclosed information between heart-felt areas you’d like to clarify or see changed in your interaction as a pair. The speaker has the floor, then the listener: one point at a time. Both parties face each other. By the fifth stage, no matter how heated the discussion, the way is cleared for understanding and deciding together how to tackle a problem. This makes the conflict an opportunity to become intimate allies. Sounds like winning teamwork!
“Lo, mine eye hath seen all this, mine ear hath heard and understood it.” 26Job 13:1
Prayer for Communication
We are thankful for interaction which brings insight and greater awareness. We confess we sometimes like the sounds of our own voices and opinions over others’. We ask to be better listeners.
Ponder Am I an accomplished listener as well as expresser of what’s important to me? Affirm I talk about and listen to problems. Watch but don’t rely fully on sight; use the ears of your heart and on your head too!
24“An Autobus Named Survival,” More Stage 11 Reports, Tour96 archives, from L’Equipe article after Stage 7. www.cyclingnews.com
25“Daily Temperature Reading” is a method for communication by PAIRS® Copyright © PAIRS Foundation www.pairs.com. It was created by Virginia Satir, a noted author and psychotherapist. For mediation sessions, we use a Dialogue Guide that provides prompts to reveal where disconnection takes place so conflicting parties can resolve conflict.
26Holy Bible, King James Version public domain